The 10
Valentine Commandments I. I am
thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me. II. Thou
shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind
my back. III. Remember
our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else. IV. Honor
MY mother and father. THINE are too damn weird. V. Thou
shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to
be seen with thee. VI. Thou
shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest
what's good for thee. VII. Thou
shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am in thy bathroom, nor use
my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone. VIII.
Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends. IX. Thou
shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house X. Thou
shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo,
nor BMW
